A trusted friend said to me recently that a person can be “tired from,” and that is resolved simply by getting rest. But, he continued, sometimes we’re not “tired from” but instead “tired of.” That is a far more dangerous phenomenon, he noted, because it makes us “restless.”
Students in almost all institutions of higher education have now returned to campus. Classes where I teach began last week. Mine are conducted at 3:30 and 5:25 in the afternoons. It’s interesting to observe how different students can be when separated by no more than those two hours. In mid-afternoon, most are still sufficiently energetic to invest themselves either in the lecture or in whatever they are doing on their laptops. 5:25 classes are different. Those students have to work harder at being invested because they are weary. And hungry. For many, it is their fourth class of the day, and they know we won’t be done till 7:00. They come to class tired. I understand that. I always have to work harder to deliver the very same lecture at 5:25 that I delivered at 3:30.
A recent article about the increasing number of “working poor” in our country noted how it is not unusual for a single mom to work one full-time job and two other part-time jobs simultaneously just to take adequate care of her children. One such lady said, “I wake up worn out.”
There are no easy answers, of course. The temptation is to say, “You need to allot time for rest, self-care, vacation. Otherwise you’ll burn out.” Those statements are absolutely, unequivocally true. And yet, for many the financial struggles of their lives make self-care difficult and vacations all but impossible. It’s a “damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t” situation. Even so, some of the people interviewed in the article described ways they have found to scratch out respite moments amid the strains and stresses of trying to survive. One talked of the healing power of music and how she listens as she works. A man spoke of “meditation interludes” (occasional breaks during the workday to sit silently for 2-3 minutes doing calming mental exercises). A woman spoke of the restorative power of “prayer moments” during her days (very similar to meditation interludes). Two respondents spoke of how helpful it was to listen to audio books as they drove to and from work, how those books became temporary means of transcending the real-life world they occupy. One spoke of the “oasis of Sundays” (what a lovely phrase) and how she sets that one day aside each week for family, fun, and restoration. One by one, every person interviewed confessed to fatigue and an awareness that sometimes we have to “work at resting.”
Most of us do not struggle from one day to the next hoping merely to survive. And yet, all of us understand how it feels to be tired from. Fatigue is a very real nemesis that is a threat to both our emotional and physical well-being. That’s why we regularly hear experts talk about the importance of a healthy diet, adequate exercise, and sufficient sleep. Alongside those things, we all need to find the “oases” that article referred to – the places or activities that have a calming effect in our lives.
My friend was also on target when he noted that often folks are not so much tired from as they are tired of. A synonym for that might be “bored.” We grow tired of the sameness of life, the day-after-day routine nature of our existence. Boredom, of course, can lead to a fairly large array of bad choices – behavioral attempts to add something exciting into what seems an increasingly unfulfilling mortal journey. In the short term, some of those options bring a momentary adrenalin rush. In the long term, they often bring regret, guilt, loss, and a kind of psychological weariness that no number of vacations or other distractions can remedy. There is, however, an alternative choice that can enhance rather than diminish life when we are burdened with a sense of pointlessness. That choice is to throw yourself into doing something that improves life for somebody else. Across the years I have been richly blessed to know countless people who volunteered with groups that fed the hungry or housed the homeless, who tutored children, who visited lonely folks confined to nursing centers, who became advocates for justice and human rights, who worked in neighborhood or community beautification efforts, who after retiring used their wisdom and experience to teach or coach others, who threw themselves into the work of their churches, synagogues, or civic groups, who decided to regularly do something (large or small) to make life better for others. I have never known a single one of those people to be bored with life, to succumb to being “tired of.” Sometimes the antidote to fatigue is not relaxation but, instead, a reordering of priorities (a decision to use our time and talents to make a difference in our corner of the world).
Do we all get tired from time to time? Of course we do – both tired from and tired of. We address the former by intentionally pulling back, by disciplining ourselves to discover oases of respite. We address the latter by pushing forward, by devoting ourselves to helping those who cannot help themselves. In the final tally, each is a source of life-renewing rest.