Not long ago I was driving from Charlotte to Blowing Rock. Nothing should be easier. It involves one turn. Literally. You drive south on I-85. When you are almost (but not quite) past Gastonia, you turn right onto Highway 321. Then, you just keep going for about an hour until you see the “Welcome to Blowing Rock” sign. So, I was making my way along what should have been the most uncomplicated route imaginable when suddenly I saw a sign that said “Welcome to Shelby.” Shelby is thirty miles past 321, the only turn I had needed to make. I’d been listening to a ball game on Sirius and also thinking about a lecture I was soon to deliver. One single turn to make – but I missed it because I wasn’t paying attention.
And so we often stumble our ways through life, not paying attention … sometimes to the surprises that bring us unexpected joy … or to the hardships that teach us unparalleled lessons … or to the people around us who we think will be there forever, despite the fact we know that’s not how life works.
I’ve been thinking these past few days, as we all have, about the indescribable tragedies in Minneapolis. Whichever side of the political chasm you stand on, there’s no way to make peace with or experience satisfaction when people are shot to death. It should not happen. The stimulus for the tragedies, of course, is not a product of Minneapolis. It is, instead, a far deeper and more systemic thing. To a certain extent, it is a product of our not paying attention, our becoming entrenched in partisan viewpoints, our minds being made up before our ears have even taken in what the other person feels and why.
What happens, for example, when you hear terms like WOKE or MAGA? For many, whatever side they’re on, the immediate response is anger at those on the other side. Increasingly that anger is deep and raw. And it boils up before we even consider what the other person is attempting to communicate (however poorly they may be doing so) – any reason they believe as they do, any rationale for their worldviews, any pain or fear they are harboring, any explanation of what their dreams for the country and its people are. Forget the politicians who understand and out of self-serving motivation practice the philosophy of “divide and conquer” or who use one issue to deflect attention from another. Not a single politician or elected official is indispensable. But, our society is – and we are all complicit in weakening it if we don’t pay attention to one another, if we don’t listen before reacting, if we don’t enter into constructive dialogue before (and instead of) going online to spew out a venom of hatred and divisiveness that leads to violence.
A colleague who facilitates group conversations aimed at bridging religious and political divides reported an exchange between a young African-American educator and a midlife white auto mechanic. The mechanic called her “WOKE.” The educator called his ideas “standard MAGA mentality.” In the process of their debate, each made a statement that no one in the group was able to merely brush aside. She said, “You and people like you make me feel threatened and afraid.” He said, “People like you make people like me feel dismissed as being stupid.” A constructive (and less hostile) group conversation ensued. The moderator observed, “In that room that night, we all began to inch toward a healthier kind of existing because we listened to each other and paid attention.”
A faith viewpoint on this topic was beautifully articulated by the late Frederick Buechner in his wonderful book Whistling in the Dark (a redundant description, of course, since all his books were “wonderful”). Here’s what he wrote:
Is it too much to say that to stop, look, and listen is also the most basic lesson that the Judeo-Christian tradition teaches us? Listen to history, is the cry of the ancient prophets of Israel. Listen to social injustice, says Amos; to head-in-the-sand religiosity, says Jeremiah; to international treacheries and power plays, says Isaiah; because it is precisely through them that God speaks his word of judgment and command.
And when Jesus comes along saying that the greatest command of all is to love God and to love our neighbor, he too is asking us to pay attention. If we are to love God, we must first stop, look, and listen for him in what is happening around us and inside us. If we are to love our neighbors, before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces, but the life behind and within their faces. Here it is love that is the frame we see them in.